> I'm Afraid I Must Now Kill Myself For Real <

Now that I have your attention, it's time to listen up. I'm killing myself for real. It's obvious my virtual presence is no longer "welcome" here, so ADIOS. You don't have to tell me twice or thrice.
I'm going to type in my address and phone number so you can either:

(A) call me at home and talk me out of it, or

(B) call the cops and have them show up at my house.

Welps, I hope you all consider yourselves accessories to the fact and you do the right thing. If any girls are here, please tell the paramedics who you are and I'll try to remain conscious.
So............ hmm.

Should I just start stuffing the pills into my mouth right now?

Or wait??
Is anyone even here???

Can someone please WRITE OR SAY SOMETHING???

You have been /banned from channel bAcKstrEEt_bOyZ.

Fine, goodbye to all my online friends forever.