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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
FOLKS CAN I PUT REGULAR TOILET PAPER IN THE PLAIN PAPER COPIER OR NOT


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Author Topic:   An (Un)happy Wicca
posted 11-5-2001 01:18 AM
       

Not like hoping ever makes two shits of difference, I suppose. YOU ALL JUST AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED AN EVITE IN YOUR INBOX MUST EQUAL SPAM.

Can't you people look at the subject header and make an effort to deduce from there who your friends are? Do you even know how to do that? Try hitting CTRL-H every once in awhile. H is for HEADER.


I won't waste time sharing with you the bittersweet ironies of watching every last candle melt down like a limp dick into the fibers of my carpet. The entire evening yielded only an enormous puddle of spread-out, hard beeswax.

So I had to fire up an iron just to make the wax soft enough to scrape up with a butter knife & toilet paper for the next five hours. Plus, it was my mom's old clonky iron which doesn't work. Then I went to bed.


posted 11-6-2001 02:45 PM
       


BUT THE JOKE'S ON YOU!!!

I possessed the foresight to purchase a brand-new Matrix DVD, which I'm about to view. I thought it might be more symbolic to screen this classic for all the guests at midnight.. but.. DOT DOT DOT.

In conclusion: I am more than dismayed by your collective lacks of spirituality. Winter Solstice comes but once a year and it's no exaggeration to suggest that each of you is directly responsible for ruining my holiday.

May the sorcery be with you.

---> NEO <---

Reminder: Harry Potter movie & potluck at my house in 2 weeks! BE THERE!!!

posted 11-6-2001 02:48 PM
       

1. GO TO BED

2. KILL YOURSELF
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